I just saw this saying tonight and it is so true!! You loved someone and they are gone. Your heart does not stop missing them. Yes…you WILL grieve forever.
That does not mean you won’t have good days again. You WILL. It will be different. You will become a new person that learns to live with and around your sensitive and cracked heart.
The heart is a muscle. You WILL have to teach it to be happy again. You have to retrain it to be happy and thrive again. Don’t let me fool you though. I am on year three of this grief journey after losing my 19-year-old son, David, and my dad a year later to Alzheimer’s. While I realize I have done remarkably well. It still consumes my thoughts daily. I have worked hard over the last few years to rebuild that muscle and while I have learned to “wear it well”, that does not mean that I am not grieving still. It just has changed. Like a broken bone that heals, but the weather changes still make it ache and you always know that it is there.
I actually have been in a funk recently and was struggling to bring myself out of it like I usually can. The change of seasons always triggers me. Especially the fall. Seeing all the leaves changing, the holidays coming and knowing they will not be here brought many reminders of the future we will not get to see David grow in to.
Many readers of my book, I am Still Here, Mom, have asked me for more. They didn’t want the story to end. They want more of Hobi and David’s insights, more information on what happens when we pass…simply just more. I have hesitated to share it in a blog post, because if you have not read the book, it is going to sound like hoopla to some. However, my goal and purpose, what keeps me going and striving to make this the best life possible still, is helping others survive their grief. Especially child loss. So, for that reason, I am going to share my recent journal entry with Hobi.
For those that have not read the book, I explain how after losing my son an almost unbelievable series of signs and validations happened, especially in the first year of his passing. Mediums and other people that I did not seek out, but David did, crossed my path and changed my life. In the process I learned how to communicate with David and my spirit guide, Hobi, using a pendulum. This is not something unheard of. I actually learned about it in a group for grieving parents. I just happened to have an unbelievable guardian angel, my son, that orchestrated it and then connected me with a spirit guide to help change lives. He knows I thrived on having a purpose and needed a new one. Now before, all the comments start…no this is not a Ouija board. It is more involved and safe. There is a practice to it. Please read the book…you will most definitely change your life.
When we lost David, one of the things I learned very early on is that if you don’t try to keep your spirits up and “raise your vibration” it is very hard to see the signs they are sending you. I have worked at meditating, grounding myself, walking and getting outside in nature. For me especially, being with my horses has been crucial in surviving losing a child and at the same time raising my vibration so I can keep the connection up. Of course, this waxes and wanes because let’s face it, I am grieving still and sometimes life in general just gets hard. Let me be your proof though that it is possible.
Recently, I was really struggling and often when that happen’s it is Hobi, my spirit guide, that comes through with advice. I know many of you have been wanting more so I am going to share my journal entry from October 23rd. If I am being honest, I really had not even been journaling. While I have conversations with either David or Hobi, and sometimes my Dad comes through, several days a week, I had not been writing them down. That also show’s how I have been lapsing in my practices that help me feel better.
We had been going through a rough spot with an outside issue. I am going to leave the names out, but the rest of this is my raw journal entry. I am going to share it here just like I did in the book so that it is real and true. Keep in mind this conversation seems short as you are reading it written out here, but I am deciphering it one letter at a time with my pendulum and then stopping to write it down, so it took a good bit of time.
October 23, 2025
Hobi: Try not to worry about *******. Things will get better.
Me: Ok
H: Now let’s get back on track with your spiritual journey.
M: I have really been stuck. I realize that. I also realize that because of it my vibration has been much lower and I am not as happy. The things happening have really broken my heart. ****** was such a gift from God for all of us and things being so difficult has really taken a toll. It has been hard to lift myself up again.
H: I understand how you feel and your feelngs are valid, but when you stay in such a low vibration, you attract more negativity.
(I am going to interject her and add that if you have studied raising your vibration and manifesting at all, you will know this to be true. Negativity attracts negativity.)
David: Mom, I know ****** means so much to you, but try to focus on you and Dad.
M: I hear you.
H: Lets talk about what you can do to raise your vibration.
M: That sounds good. I think this is also what I need to be sharing with my book followers. So many are in such deep, heavy grief.
H: First, get back to meditating. This is one of the most important things you can do. It will help to regulate your nervous system.
H: Next drink more water.
M: Why is that?
H: When you are dehydrated,you cannot function as well and you cannot vibrate as high.
M: Got it. Makes sense.
H: I also want you to stop having caffiene. It also brings your vibration down.
(I would like to add here this is so true. Just grieving in general takes such a toll on us. It is crucial to try to stay away from the caffiene, sugar etc. All the things that already beat us down.)
H: Lastly. Lets get back to journaling and learning again. We can work on blog posts and help other’s more.
M: Yes, that definately sounds good. I have missed it and I definately need the focus and direction right now.
H: Lets start there and build on it. Now get some sleep.
M: Ok. Thank you both. Love you.
David: I love you.
There it is. If you read the book, you know I mention a bunch of times how scary it is to share this as I worry what people will think. I actually have had a few make comments or reviews that were not kind, and I am working hard to remind myself that what other’s think is not my business. I have shared the proof in the book, and the conversations I have with David and Hobi continue to verify that this is real. There are things they still tell me that will happen that I would not have expected, etc., that come to fruition. I have no doubt is real.
I want you to know that three years into this, there are more good days than bad. I still think about David many times throughout every day, but it does not make me sad most days. There are still triggers, like grocery shopping and seeing others living life and wondering what he would have become and who he would have been. Holidays are still a bit heavy, but not unenjoyable. However, this is because I work at it. The other option is to not work at in live in sadness and I know that is not what David wants. Your loved ones are with you, and they want you to be happy. For them, please try.
I am going to start a “File” in the Facebook group with resources. Many have asked who the mediums are that presented themselves to me that are mentioned in the book, what meditations are good to start with, other book’s that I have found helpful, etc. Please also let me know if there is other information I can help with. I will do my best.
The messages that I get weekly and sometimes daily from others that have lost children and found the book to be life changing are what keep me knowing this is supposed to be shared. Thank you for your belief in David, Hobi and I.
With love,
Michelle Lyn
I am Still Here, Mom 
Leave a comment